Just Pretendin'
by Malformed Entity
Summary: one shot Zellphie fluff comedy. An innocent request between friends reveals a little bit more than just friendship


Written for the Zellphie Revolution. 8/8/08.

Enjoy?

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"Yo!! Selphie! Selphie!! PLEASE OPEN UP!" Zell screamed as he knocked violently on his friend's door, looking up and down the hall for any signs of his stalker.

"Zell, why didn't you call before comin over? I coulda baked some cookies!" Selphie squealed as she opened the door just enough to look at the man standing before her.

"J-Just let me in, please!" He invited himself in and ran into the brunette's dorm, calming himself on her couch. "I just had to get away from her."

"Who? Rinoa? Is it that time of the month already?" She turned to her calender and flipped through the months cautiously with a helmet in the hands.

"No, it's Betsy, you know. That librarian girl with the pigtail?"

"Oh yea, what's wrong?" Selphie dropped the helmet and calender to sit with her friend.

"She's SO clingy!" Zell took Selphie by the shoulders and shouted into her face. "EVERY OTHER SENTENCE IS ABOUT HOW GREAT I AM AND SHE _NEEDS_ TO BE WITH ME EVERYWHERE! SHE KEPT ON BREATHING DOWN MY NECK THIS ONE TIME WHEN I'M FINALLY FOUND A HOTDOG TO EAT BECAUSE SHE WAS SCARED I'D CHOKE AGAIN! ...I DON'T EVEN LIKE HER AND WE'RE NOT EVEN GOING OUT... but she won't lemme alone...!" His last words whispered as he looked around suspiciously. "What if she's here now?"

"Aw, that's cute." She said in a sweet but slightly sarcastic voice as she removed the fighter's hands from her shoulders and swatted a hand in front of her face for him to get away.

He ignored whatever Selphie had said and grabbed her arm again. "I've got to do something. Somebody's gotta tell her to leave me alone! You've got to help me!"

"What do you want m-... oh no you don't. No way." She saw the look on his face and immediately knew what he wanted her to do. "I am not gonna tell her for you."

"But come on. You're my best friend." Somewhere deep inside of her, something about 'best friend' didn't really hit Selphie as appealing... The blonde pleaded, falling onto his knees. "Please... Sefie?" He gave her his deadly puppy dog eyes with his lethal quivering upper lip.

"...Zell, that doesn't work on me anymore, you know that." She began to secretly melt but managed to keep her poise.

"Please, Sefie? I already tried Quistis..." Zell begged again but received a whack in the head inside.

"What do you mean you already tried Quistis? Why'd you go to Quistis first?" Selphie asked on impulse, feeling insulted.

"Yo! W-Well she was in the hallway! But that's besides the point! PLEASE Selphie, you gotta help me! You know how bad I am with talking to girls!"

"What about me, Rinoa and Quistis?"

"You guys don't count." Selphie glared at him, feeling hurt.

"Uh... Come on! I'll be your slave for a whole week!" He tried one more time, using his childish promise to sway her decision.

"...Fine. Whadya want me to do...?" She gave in reluctantly.

"Okay, just go up to her and tell her that I transferred to Trabia Gard-" Selphie whacked him again before he could finish.

"That's stupid! She lives in Balamb Garden too; she'll know that you're still here every time you go outside!"

"Fine! Uh... Then pretend you like me and we're going out so she can leave me alone." Zell quickly thought up another plan.

"EW! That doesn't make sense, w-why would I like you?" A pink glow burned on her face as she tried not to stutter. Zell grinned at her.

"See, it works because you're single and I'm desperate as hell-" Another whack in the face told him to shut up for good. "Hey!... Oh."

"Alright, I'll do that but only if you'll really be my slave for an entire week! I'm going to make you wear a dress! Teehee!" Selphie giggled and took Zell by the collar, bringing him to find Betsy.

"Yay Sefie! I knew you'd come through!" Zell gave her a hug and happily bounced up and down like a little kid. Another tint of darker pink glowed on her face as her smile grew.

_It's about time Zell told Ol' Betsy to scoot. She's always taking up all of Zell's time... What kinda name is Betsy anyway (I'm sorry if you're offended) Tee hee...Betsy... the COW... Whoa. Wait. STOP THINKING LIKE THAT SELPHIE! That's mean! You're a big meanie! Betsy is a nice girl... just... very... clingy. Well, I'm just doing Zell a favor. But...there's nothing wrong with enjoying it along the way... right?_

"There she is!" Zell screamed, trying to hide himself behind Selphie's petit body.

"Zell, if you're going to make this look real..." She almost stopped herself when she considered how selfish it would be to take advantage of this time for her own amusement... but decided it was for his better too. "You're... uh... going to have to hold my hand or something..." Selphie tried to hide her excitement when she said that, blushing as she held out her hand. _Just helping Zell, just helping Zell. _She repeated to herself.

Zell blushed lightly too as she spoke and grumbled. "Do I have to?" He sighed and took her hand. They both held their breath and continued to walk towards Betsy.

"Oh no! It is your admirer, Betsy. I am afraid she has found out about our relationship. Whatever shall we do? Oh snap!" Selphie spoke loudly so that the girl couldn't have possibly missed her. Her acting was simply atrocious but it got the other girl's attention at least.

"Zell!! I was looking for you! I found this new magazine. Well I don't know if it's new... but... uh... why are you holding her hand?" She gave Selphie a dirty look and turned to Zell, plastering a huge smile for her crush. Selphie secretly glared back. _Fake Bit- ahem… be nice Selphie..._

"Uh.. w-woops?" Zell desperately tried to follow the plan but his tongue seemed to have been stuck between his and Selphie's hands, causing his hand to become extremely sweaty.

"What he means is, we're going out so..." She knew it wasn't true but oh how she enjoyed saying it, especially after how the other girl looked at her.

"What? When did this happen? I thought she was just your friend!" Selphie cringed at the word.

"We're going out, okay?!" She shouted in desperation to make it sound believable.

"Is this true, Zell? You're going out with Selphie?" Betsy turned to the blonde, who was trying to crawl away at this point.

"Uh. Hehe. Yeaaa." He placed a hand behind his head and scratched his hair nervously.

She squinted at Zell's expression and frowned. "You're lying..."

"No he's not." Selphie pushed through the cowering blonde and yelled into the other girl's face.

"Then why don't you guys do something... like kiss?" Betsy grinned, she knew that they had met their match... and the two of them knew it too.

"Uhh... look! Is that a cow?" Selphie stammered, pointing at a random object in the room. The other brunette was not amused; she didn't even think to turn. Selphie nudged Zell and whispered. "Do something...!"

"Oh yeah! And he's sitting on a dancing monkey! Whoa!" Selphie whacked him in the face again but to her surprise, Betsy turned around. Zell whooped and grabbed Selphie by the arm, running for his life.

"Hey!"

"Okay that was too close, Zell. Your stupid plan didn't work and now we're in a lot of trouble!" Selphie shouted as they turned the corner.

"So? We'll just act like a couple until she leaves me alone, how hard can that be?" Zell shrugged as they turned another. She gave him an annoyed look. "Besides, with my boyish charms, uber cool hair, muscles that pwn, and super tight butt, it'll be a walk in the park for you." That earned him a couple more whacks in the face.

"What do you mean 'for you'? Are you saying its gonna be hard pretendin' to be my boyfriend?" Her hair was on fire now.

"U-Uh, well." Zell blushed, of course he didn't mean it that way. _Not at all, in fact... I think you're really cute. Okay, now just say that to Selphie. _"Yes, I'm going to have a lot of trouble doing it."

He punched himself in the face as soon as Selphie was done pummeling him to the ground. They were both on the floor, Selphie trying to rip his hair out and Zell, cringing and shaking in fear of the girl who was half his size. All actions stopped when they saw a shadow turn the corner. "Quick! Go that way!" They picked themselves up simultaneously and ripped through the hallway and around the corner.

"You were saying?" Selphie took hold of her nunchakus and whirled them in front of Zell, just a little bit too close for comfort.

"Nothing! Nothing!" Zell held his mouth and shook his head. _Oh come on Zell, just tell her that you think she's pretty. _"I think you look like Irvine!" _Smooth...Zell, reeaaal smooo- OW!_

"WHAT?!" Selphie began hitting him with her nunchakus, not exactly lethally but enough to leave a few bruises.

"Look! It's Betsy!" Zell took Selphie and brought her around another corner as he saw another shadow. He turned his head all around to check if the stalker was behind them, unaware that his hands were still around her shoulders. Selphie settled from the touch and placed her nunchaku's back. Her face began to burn as she saw Zell's warm arm resting against her shoulders.

"I think she went that way." Selphie said, pointing at a disappearing shadow. The blonde turned back around and leaned against the wall, sighing and catching his breath. He spotted Selphie from the side of his eye and frowned.

"I'm sorry I said you looked like Irvine." He apologized as he continued to catch his breath.

"I don't mind. He is kinda cute. I could have taken it as a compliment." Selphie teased, giggling under her breath.

"What?" Zell bounced to his feet, surprised at her comment.

"Yea, I was wondering if I should ask him out, what do you think?" She stared at her nails. After seeing his reaction, she wanted to joke around some more.

"WHA-.. psh. Like I care." He feigned a casual composure. "Whatever."

"Teehee, you sounded like Squall." Selphie giggled loudly this time as a distant sound echoed through the empty hallway. Louder footsteps indicated that someone was approaching the two, fast. They quickly exchanged looks, knowing exactly what one another said and immediately look their place. Selphie leaned against the wall as Zell turned to face her, with both hands against the wall, only inches from her neck. He brought himself closer to her and turned his face to inspect for the intruders.

As uncomfortable as it may have been for the two, they couldn't help but blush as the warmth between their bodies danced against their clothes. A girl, but not their follower was rushing down the hall, late for her class. She stopped only to glance at the two, giggling and running off.

"Phew!" Zell threw his back against the wall again, sighing as the blush faded from his cheeks. He turned to Selphie, who was frozen in her place. He began to chuckle. "Hehehe... you alright?"

"I-I'm fine." She finally came to and dusted herself off and lied a lot better than she did with Betsy. "I just hope we don't have to do that again."

"Yea..." He said with a small hint of disappointment in his voice as he checked the hallway. "Okay, I think we're good to go." They ripped themselves off of the wall and began to walk opposite from where they started.

"Zell! Selphie?" A girl's voice was calling from down the very hall they were walking in. The two of them quickly checked for a place to hide or another corner to turn but found none. As the footsteps became louder, Zell panicked and pressed Selphie against the wall again, causing both of their faces to find a new tint of red. He didn't bother to look for the person but instead chose to look at Selphie this time. He barely breathed as his gaze fell upon Selphie's flustered cheeks, moist lips and sparkling emerald eyes. Something flew into his throat, he was sure it was his heart. Selphie had trouble breathing as well as she locked eyes with the blonde. She had always known that he had very striking features but she had never seen just how much more beautiful his eyes were up close.

"Zell? Selphie? That's so cute, guys. But do that in a room, not in the hallway!" Rinoa's voice called from behind them and immediately, they both collapsed onto the floor.

"Rinoa?! You gave us a heart attack!" Selphie shouted, very relieved that she could breathe again but upset that she had made them mistaken her for Betsy. Zell was still breathless against the floor, with a tint of blue on his face this time.

"I don't think I was the only one giving you guys a heart attack." The dark haired girl giggled as she pointed to the two, who were gasping for their breaths.

"You shut up! We were just pretending so Betsy would lemme alone!" Zell shouted defensively, shaking his fists at Rinoa as the blue turned back to red.

"Yea! I was just helpin him out!" Selphie added, bouncing onto her feet with her own shade of red on her face.

"Sure... in an empty hallway?" She giggled again as the two of them threw their arms into the air, cursing and swearing at her. "I was going to ask if you guys knew where Squall was but now I see you're busy..." She eyed them and let out another laugh.

They both sighed. "We swear! We were just trying to get Betsy to leave Zell alone!" Selphie explained again. Rinoa gave them another look and laughed.

"Oh forget it, Selph. She won't understand, let's go." Zell slumped as he instinctively took Selphie's hand and began walking away from Rinoa. Selphie's face became redder by the second from Zell's action and by Rinoa's thumbs up to the two. "See, now the whole school thinks we're going out." Zell half-complained with some happiness mixed in there somewhere.

"Isn't that what you wanted?!" Selphie arched a brow as she traced the side of the wall with her eyes. "Plus... is that such a bad thing?" She added with a whisper.

"Uh.. huh?" Zell looked away in embarrassment and gulped. "Uh... no...not really..." _Good job, Zell. You actually listened to me this time!_

"Hm?" Selphie questioned as they fell silent. She turned around and peered at the blonde... how she'd love to be staring into his eyes like before again... She could see that Zell was peeking at her too as they both continued their seemingly endless blushing session. There was a sharp movement behind them, which caused them to jolt into the air.

"I think that's her! Quick!" Zell took Selphie by the waist and pulled her body against his own. He could feel as Selphie's breath hit his slightly exposed chest and her body shiver from his touch. He turned to face her again but she kept her eyes on his neck to keep from squealing from excitement. After staying closely embraced for what seemed to be hours, Zell moved away from the brunette and laughed nervously. "Another false alarm..."

"Hyne, I'm almost wishing she was here so we'd have a purpose for doing all this." Selphie closed her eyes, joining in with the nervous laughter. _I sure wish we had a better purpose to do this..._ When they finally finished with their awkward giggling, they stood there in silence, avoiding each other's glances. Hearing what she had said made something take over Zell, even if it was for a mere second, it made him do the unthinkable.

"Selphie, do you hear that?" He asked as her eyes widened.

"Wh-" Selphie's response was quickly interrupted as Zell wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in once again. Her legs fell limp, allowing him to bring her petit body to fit into his like a puzzle piece without opposition. After hesitating for a moment, her finally hands made their way around the blonde's neck and into his hair, returning the embrace. His eyes locked onto hers, breaking only for a moment to notice her smile as he leaned into the brunette. Selphie placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed herself upward so that their lips may meet. It was a wonderful moment between the two as their anticipating lips locked with each other; they felt as if they could simply melt and float away. As reluctant as she may have been, Selphie broke free of their almost never-ending kiss to place her forehead against Zell's shoulder to keep herself from falling.

Their rapid breathing was accompanied by the sudden rush of blood to their faces. Selphie looked up from his shoulder and laughed, noticing an empty hallway. "Well, pretend boyfriend..."

"Yeah, pretend girlfriend?"

"I think that was convincing enough for everyone here... don't you?" She giggled as Zell nodded. "And ya know what?" She smiled. "I don't think anyone will be clinging onto you from now on..." Selphie looked at him and winked. "...'Cept for me."

"Oh, I don't think that'll be a problem." He gave a large grin in return and took her hand as they made their way back to the Cafe.

...

The End? ROLL CREDITS FOR THIS CHEESY FANFIC! (you can leave now if you want… but –gasps there's more)

...

"Wait, does that mean I don't have to wear a dress anymore?" Zell added before the black screen enveloped the scene.

"Oh, you'll be wearing a dress alright!" Selphie laughed as she began to run down the hall. "It'll be in the sequel, duh." He almost fell as he tried to catch up, reaching out to stop his new girlfriend.

"No way! What if I just charm you some more with my uber cool hair and super tight butt?" She stopped immediately with a mischievous look on her face. "Huh? What?" He squinted at her and cocked his head as he turned around and bent down slightly. "You know you like it." Selphie gave him a whack right in the butt with a pair of flailing nunchakus, sending him halfway across the hall until his _uber cool_ hair slammed into the wall.

"Hm... whadya know! That _is_ a super tight butt..."

-

And that concludes this really weird fanfic... if you're still reading, I thank you. And if you're the person pretending not to read this, you're still cool And for those people who have ran away long ago, I say... Wise decision, my friend.

**The Zelphie Revolution of 2008 has come.** Brace yourself for awesomeness. Please check out xSummonerYunax's fanfics too. We both started this revolution to promote more Zellphie fanfics.


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